


Maybe it's all I've ever wanted

by Dimplesonfire



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg Harry, Reality, angst kind of, but AU because Harry is pregnant, harry is pregnant, larry stylinson - Freeform, little bit of Gashton because I can, metro-wrote-fic that's becoming a thing for me, no smut he's pregnant come on and also i don't know how to write smut, that's litteraly all I've ever wanted, too many tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-18 16:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1435408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dimplesonfire/pseuds/Dimplesonfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry realises he's pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe it's all I've ever wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya, first thank you for reading my story !
> 
> i've been thinking about Harry being pregnant since i've had a conversation about it with @LarrySoObvious so I just decided to write it.
> 
> I've been writing at school and in the metro and english is not my main language so if you find any mistake that like keeps you away from reading my story please tell me so i can correct it. Or if you want to be a Beta ?
> 
> Thank you ! :D
> 
> also i don't understand why we're mesuring pregnancy in weeks it's so complicated so please excuse the mathematicals errors and i don't know a thing about pregnancy and doctor and anatomy and management basically i just made myself happy becasue i'm dreaming of pregnant Harry.
> 
> I don't own anything but the story and sorry if Ive been inspired by another fic, I read too many to not be influenced by them.
> 
> I hope you enjoy ! :)

Louis rubs gently Harry's bare tummy, ear against his chest. "Are you feeling better ?"

Harry hums. He's been sick all morning, every smell provoking a new wave of vomit. But now, they're back to bed, even though it's the afternoon, and it's warm and peaceful. "I can hear your heart beat baby" Louis says against the skin. Harry giggles. "You're tickling me"  
Louis snorts but keep running his hand in Harry's smooth skin.

Then he pokes the tummy pretending his fingers are walking legs. That's when he notices that the tummy is softer than it used to be, fuller too, filling the v-lines of Harry's lower chest. Harry giggles again and curls his toes.

Louis doesn't see it, but Harry’s tensed. What if Louis doesn't love him anymore now that he gained a little tummy ? It's the break he knows it, of course he's been doing less exercises but soon the tour will start again and Harry will work out again and lose this little bump. But what if it disturbs Louis ? He doesn't say anything though, just promising to himself that he'll start working out tomorrow. And eat a little bit less pizza and crisps.

 

Three weeks later, Harry is picking his clothes for the day. He has a publicity stunt scheduled. He's required to wear a nice outfit, something that defines his broad shoulders and his long and skinny legs. He's been in LA for a couple of days now so he's not suffering of jet lag anymore. PR has been clear he just need to go out and show that he's here, maybe hang out with some friend, from the opposite sex if possible. Alexa is in LA so it's not a problem. She has a boyfriend but apparently, the press doesn't care, hell, they called Harry's own sister, Gemma, a new pretty mysterious girl, so they'll just assume something about him and Alexa having an affair or something and everyone will be happy. Except Alexa's boyfriend maybe.

Anyways, Harry's mind sets on tight black jeans (as usual) and a white T.

But when he pulls on the T-shirt and look at his reflection in the mirror, it's obvious. It's there and Harry wants to cry. He's been working out and you can see it on his arms and shoulders, but the bump on his tummy doesn't want to leave. He's been controlling every snack he had, not starving himself, but let's say he slowed down a bit on the unhealthy food. It's been easier now that he's in LA and not at home with Louis, as hard as it is to say it. When he's with Louis, Harry feels guilty for eating too much because he thinks Louis has noticed it too, the gain. But he also feels guilty for not eating because Louis loves a good pizza or ordering Chinese and eat in front if a movie, shrimp crisps in a big bowl. These things are delicious but Harry can't eat them. So he just glares at the greasy food and blushes when Louis asks him what's wrong.

So yeah, being alone here is easier; he can eat whenever he wants. Or not eat actually.

His tummy is incredibly visible in this t-shirt that's never been that tight on him. He pulls up a little the white fabric and puts his hands flat on his stomach. It fills his palms in a way that's definitely not acceptable. It's full and round and it's fat and his butt is definitely bigger too now that he looks at it.

The booty is not a problem compared to the tummy, but Harry always liked to be lean and long and flat. And Louis loves his tiny little ass. He says they complete each other. Harry doesn't think that Louis's ass is so big. But it's true that it's round and full and soft and beautiful. Harry might miss it a little. Yes the ass OK. He misses Louis too. Like with or without the ass he misses Louis.

But he thinks it fits Louis to be a little rounder, the boy has curves and kind of feminine sometimes, (very feminine you know, like when he's wearing lingerie for example) so it fits him. But on Harry it just looks fat. Harry grabs his tummy and wants to tear it off. He sits down and cries. It's too much; thinking about Louis made him even sadder. He feels bad for enjoying time without him. He's his soulmate and the love of his life. Harry wants to call him, but it's night time in the UK and it would only wake him up and piss him off. (it wouldn't really.)

After a while Harry's phone buzzes from a text from Alexa wondering when he'll arrive.

Harry wipes the dry years of his cheeks and gets up. He pulls off the too tight T-shirt and picks a plaid shirt that'll cover his tummy and show off his upper chest and collar bones. Maybe even a little bit of the butterfly.

Harry wishes the bug would fly away, bringing the fat with him.

Then he picks sun glasses to hide his red and swollen eyes. He ties a headscarf around his hair and pulls on his favorite shoes, old and so hipster-y.

When he arrives to Alexa's hotel, an hour later, the first think she says after kissing him on both cheeks, french style, is "honey you are radiant ! You are literally glowing."

Harry wishes it was true. He probably looks a mess, but it's true that he hasn't had acne problems for a while.

 

 

 

The first time Harry has doubts is a week or so later. He's supposed to come back to the UK in a couple of days, he hasn't seen Louis in way too long. They Skype every day but it's definitely not the same. However today's Skype session had to be shortened because Harry felt sick again. He was in his bedroom with the window open and his neighbours were doing some kind of barbecue, something fancy because everyone in this neighborhood is somehow famous or really really rich witch come actually with the fame. It's like the egg and the chicken, who knows what comes first ? they just come together.

Anyway, somehow, a very strong sausage smell comes through the window and Harry stops speaking and covers his mouth before running to the nearest bin where he throws up. After that, he feels so bad he has to go to bed. He sets the laptop on the other pillow so he can fall asleep next to Louis. When he wakes up, the Skype conversation has ended, his laptop running out of battery. He feels better but there's something else. His breast aches. Like... aches. That's a really really weird feeling.

He plugs his laptop on electricity and opens a new tab on Google. He types "my breast aches". One of the result catches his eye : "i throw up at strong smells and my Breast aches" that's exactly what's happening to him ! He clicks on it and looks for the answers. His eyes widen when most of them are "buy a pregnancy test"

Then he realises the person who asked the question is a woman and his hear beat slows down a little. Then he types "i am a man and my breast aches and i throw up at strong smells"

There's no result found.

The butterfly on his stomach bats his wings and Harry shivers.

 

 

Two weeks later, Harry is home. Like home. He's at Holmes Chapel with his mom and step dad and even Gemma is here. Louis is supposed to join him in a few days, for his birthday.

The sickness is back when his mom bakes pancakes for breakfast. He hides it as much as he can but Gemma notices. When he's in his old room, full if his teenager stuff, she knocks on his door and enters without waiting for an answer. Normally he would yell at her, but right now he feels too sick to say anything.

"What's wrong babycakes ?" She says, breathing very close to his face, considering she literally let herself fall on him.

He tries to push her away but right now he isn't strong enough.

"M'not feeling good, leave me" he whispers.

"What's wrong ?" She asks again, a little bit more gently.

"I threw up"

She pulls away immediately and her hands hits him on the upper chest right where it hurts already because of whatever is wrong with him. "OUCH" he cries.

"What ? I didn't do anything !" She says.

"My Brest hurt" Harry mumbles.

"What are you, like, pregnant ?" Asks Gemma, with a grin. When Harry looks away and doesn't answer, her eyes widen and her jaw drops.

To be honest, Harry thought about it a lot. His stomach keeps getting rounder, still invisible under an ample plaid shirt, but quite obvious under a tight T-shirt. He keeps being sick in the morning and on top of that, his breast hurts. He hasn't noticed any boob growing but his chest does look fuller and Harry is less and less convinced its because he works out.

So, yes, Harry has been thinking about ...being... pregnant and he just wants to scream just thinking the word because HOW THE HELL COUDL HE BE PREGNANT HE HAS NO VAGINA NO UTERUS NO EGG TO MAKE INTO A BABY but he did have unprotected sex with a boy. If he is pregnant he hopes he's used for a preventing pregnancy add. "Wear a condom or you'll be pregnant, spermatozoids don't give a fuck you don't have ovaries."

 

But he's not pregnant right ? How could he be.

 

When he looks back to Gemma, she's frozen. His eyes cross hers and she wakes up. Harry sees a frightening spark in her eyes and she is digging through the blanket and once Harry is uncovered she pulls up his plaid shirt. (He barely wears anything else anymore, that and large sweaters)

And she sees it. The obvious bump.

"What the hell ?" She screams.

Then she sort of palpates it and Harry giggles because her hands are cold. but it's not genuine. He's very close to tears. Gemma lays down on the bed next to him, her face only a few inches away from his. She grabs his hand and squeezes it. She smiles at Harry and he closes his eyes. "You have to see a doctor haz"

Harry doesn't answer nor open his eyes but he nods. They fall asleep like that, curled up with each other like when they were kids. Except neither Harry or Gemma is the kid here anymore.

 

When Harry wakes up it's the afternoon and Gemma has left to meet some friends. He just lays on the couch watching TV and gossiping with his mom and drinking tea.

 

When Gemma comes back, it's 2am but she knocks at Harry's door and he's not asleep.

She hasn't even took off her coat but she sits down on the bed next to Harry and toes off her shoes. "I have something for you" she says without looking at him. She pulls out of the her purse a plastic bag with the mark of a pharmacy.

"No" says Harry.

"Why ?"

"I'm not going to do that"

"You don't even know what i bought."

Harry takes the bag angrily and pulls out a pregnancy test.

"I . Am. Not. Doing. That." He says and puts the test back in to bag before throwing it on his sister's lap.

"OK" she says. She stands up and puts the plastic bag in the drawer of the nightstand.

Harry rolls up on his bed to face the wall. He hears her leave the room and get to hers.

After that, he tries to listen to music, a playlist made by Louis when they're away from each other. Louis called him earlier that night to tell him he had to stay in London a little bit longer and would only come to Holmes Chapel on the 1st of february. Meaning four days from now.

What will happen with Louis ? What if he leaves him ? What if he's freaked out ? Because even if he's not pregnant (he's not) Harry does have some weird disease. Like the boob thing. And the throwing up. And the bump.

He rolls back to get more comfortable and he feels like the plastic bag is glowing behind the wood of the nightstand.

When he finally falls asleep, it's only to be woken up a couple of hours later, heart beating fast and covered with sweat.

Without really thinking, he gets up and opens the drawer. He takes out the test and goes to his bathroom. There, he sits on the floor, against the door, locked. He opens carefully the package of the test and reads the instructions. It's simple. You pee on the stick and you wait a whole minute and if the little cross turns blue, you're screwed. If not you can thank Jesus.

Harry takes the stick and opens the toilet seat. When he pull down his boxers he feel incredibly ridiculous.

"I'm not doing that" he whispers.

But he does it anyway.

 

When he's done, he shakes the stick like it's going to go faster. Right now a minute seems like an eternity.

He closes his eyes a little hoping the cross will turn red. "Red red red red" he mumbles, tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

But the cross is blue. It's fucking blue. "Fuck that" he spits.

He grabs the stick with both hands and breaks it angrily.

He throws it all in the bin and gets back to bed. He falls asleep instantly, exhausted by his crying. He dreams of babies screaming and vomiting blue pregnancy tests.

 

The next morning, he wakes up with a pounding headache. But he sees clearly now. He has to do it.

 

He gets up and walks to Gemma's bedroom. He knocks on the door and wait for an answer. Insteand, Gemma opens the door. She looks surprised to see him.

"I've made a descision." Harry says. "I want you to take me to... to the doctor."

Gemma frowns. "Okay, I'm calling my gynecologist. Get ready, I'll try to have an appointment to earlier possible."

Harry nods and heads to the shower. The hot steamy water feels good on his skin. He closes his eyes so he doesn't have to look at his belly. He doesn't want to see it.

 

When he goes downstairs, dressed in black jeans and a thick lilac knitted sweater, Gemma is waiting for him in the kitchen.

She gets up when he enters.

"I got us an appointment in 40 minutes, we can leave just after breakfast if you're quick enough."

"m'not hungry" mumbles Harry.

"No, Haz, you gotta eat." She says, opening a bag of chocolate croissants. "You look exhausted."

 

"I did the test." Harry blurts out.

 

Gemma drops the plastic bag and says way more gently "and ?"

Harry looks away as he feels his eyes water.

Gemma comes closer, and wraps her arms around him.

She kissed his forehead. " It's gonna be okay, Haz, everything is going to be okay."  
Harry, nods but doesn't believe her. How could anything be okay if he is fucking pregnant ??

 

"And you sure we can... trust him?

"Yes don't worry, he's really nice."

"And what did you tell him ?"

Gemma stays silent for a moment before answering. "I said..." she looks unsure of her answer and Harry starts a worry again. "I said there was an unconventional problem... with my umh... sibling. "

"So he doesn't know i'm a boy ?"

Gemma pats her brother's knee, one hand staying on the wheel.

"It's gonna be fine, i swear." She says softly. Harry rest his forehead against the window and close his eyes, lulled by the purr of the engine.

 

Gemma wakes him up gently when they arrive to the doctor's office.

"C'mon haz, we've arrived."

Harry takes a deep breath and nods. They get out of the car and come into the waiting room. The secretary asks for a name and Gemma answers Gemma Twist, it's their mum's name so it's not really a lie. You can't be careful enough. Gemma is not famous by herself but if anyone hears that Harry Styles' sister is secretly pregnant, it will be on at least one paper. Hopefully nobody has followed them and nobody has recognized them here. The doctor opens his office's door almost instantly after the secretary says the name in the interphone.  
That way, women in the waiting room didn't have enough time to really see Harry's face.

"Hello Gemma, how are you ?" The doctor says shaking her hand with a nice smile.

"Good thank you, hum I'm not here for me today, though." She says, pulling Harry's arm from behind her.

The doctor runs his hand in his grey hair. "Oh, ok ?" He looks rather confused.  
Harry feels his face redden.

"Please sit" the man finally says.

 

"Do I leave you ?" Asks Gemma softly in Harry's ear.

He looks at her, begging her to stay, squeezing her hand. "No, please."

She gives him a reassuring smile and sits down next to him.  
Behind the desk, the doctor is making a new file.

"Your name please ?"

Harry gives him a odd look because he's highly recognizable.  
The man seems to understand his confusion and says. "I mean, how should i put it, Mr styles ?"  
Harry smiles and looks at Gemma. "I guess uh Harry Twist ?"

"Alright." The man says with an nice smile. "So what's your problem, Harry ?"

Harry bites his lips and looks for Gemma's help. She understands and says for him "we were wondering if you could uhm, look at his... uhm... stomach"  
The doctor frowns and shows the bed. "Please remove your shirt and uhm take place."  
Harry unbuttons his shirt and leaves it to Gemma. He lays down on the white paper sheets.

From her seat Gemma give him a warm smile.

"So, Harry what's wrong ?"  
Harry answers with a shaky voice. "I uhm, throw up in the morning and uh, my uh breast hurts and... uhm... my stomach keeps getting bigger.. "

"Okay ?" The doctor seems confused. Harry feels stupid but then he remembers his last 'problem'.

"And uh... i did a test."

The doctor frowns. "A test ?"

"Yes, i bought him a pregnancy test" says Gemma.

Harry's cheeks burn. "It turned positive."

The doctor's eyes grow wide. he looks at Harry's stomach and with a look asks if he can touch. Harry nods. The man carefully palpate the skin.

"I'm not, i don't know if a blood test would work for a man i don't.. maybe we can try an ultra sound already ?"  
Harry shivers. Gemma comes closer and takes Harry's hand.

Harry is terrified.

The doctors comes back with a blue lotion and a machine. The blue thing is cold.

The doctor runs the detector against Harry's skin. Harry looks at him. the man looks more and more confused. Then he turns the screen to show Harry and Gemma. He points a light grey pea shaped stain. He takes a deep breath and says "here's the... baby." Harry's eyes widen. he feels Gemma's hand squeezing his.

She asks softly "how.. how long?" And Harry gives her a grateful look, his throat and mouth are so dry.  
The doctor says "looking at the size and shape i'd say, ten or eleven weeks. But your stomach is still very flat" and then almost to himself, like taking notes "maybe because you're a man..."

Harry bites the inside of his cheek.

"do you want to hear the heart beat" the man asks.

Suddenly, Harry cannot do it anymore and falls apart. He burst in tears and Gemma takes him in her arms.

 

When he calms down, he hears Gemma apologize to the doctor. "I want to hear it" he finally says.  
The man leaves a few drops of the blue liquid on Harry's stomach and presses the detector. "Here he says" and hands headphones to Harry.

_duddum_

_duddum_

_duddum_

Tears roll down Harry's face.

He has life growing inside him.

_duddum_

A baby inside him.

_duddum_

His baby.

_duddum_

And Louis's.

_duddum_

 

He gives back the headphones to the doctor and turns to Gemma. "Louis ?" He blurts out. Gemma squeeze his hand.  
"The father ?" Asks the doctor. But then his cheek redden and he corrects himself "i mean... the ... other... parent ?"  
Gemma nods.  
"I uhm I'm gonna leave you a minut, here's something to clean yourself" he hands white tissues and leaves the room.  
Harry cleans himself up and cups his tummy in the flat of his hands. He looks up to Gemma. "I'm keeping it.

 

 

 

"Mum ?"

When they arrive at home, Anne is sitting on the front porch, eyes red and swollen, hand tight on something Harry cant see. She stands up. "Gemma, why didn't you tell me ?"

"Tell you what ?" Says Gemma, worried.

Then Anne looks angry. "Where the fuck were you ? I wake up and nobody's here and i find THIS ?!" she yells, holding the broken pieces of the pregnancy test. The blue cross is clearly visible.

"Mum, i'm not .." Gemma starts but Harry cuts her. "We were at the doctor."

"Why didn't you tell me ?" Spits Anne at Gemma. "Don't you trust me ?" She adds with a sadder tone.  
Gemma is speechless.

Harry spreads his arms around Anne who's crying. "Come on mum, we... I'm going to explain everything to you."

He has too. He owes her the truth and she wont judge him. Well, he hopes so.

She supported him when he came out, almost six years ago. He was young and yet he knew he didn't like girls like other boys did.

 

She supported him when he had decided to apply for x-factor. She had supported him when he and the boys became one direction and he left for London.

she supported him when he and Louis started dating.

She supported him when Louis had to fake-date Eleanor. She always supported him. Why not now ?

He leads her to the kitchen and helps her sit down.

 

He sits in front of her and Gemma takes place next to him. Under the table she reaches his hand. He looks at her and they both smile. Anne grabs a box of tissues and blows her nose.

"Mum" starts Harry carefully "it's hard to say but i will need your help. "

Anne who was facing Gemma turns to him, eyes full of confusion. "You ? Why ?"

Gemma takes her hand and Harry takes the other. "It's going to sound crazy and unbelievable but i swear i.. I'm serious."  
Anne seems more and more worried.  
Harry can't help a light laughter. What he has to say sounds more than crazy. "Mum, i'm... it's not Gemma who's pregnant."

"You knocked up a girl ? What happened to Louis ?!"

"No mum" Harry says with a sad smile. "I love Louis. I mean. It's me."

"It's you what ?"

"I'm the one who's... pregnant."

Anne's eyes narrow and she frowns.

Harry speaks again. "I... we went to the doctor and i wouldn't believe it either but... apparently, it's been more or less ten weeks."  
There's a silence.

"You're... kidding right ?" Asks Anne with a shaky voice.

"Show her" says Gemma softly. She hands him her purse and he takes out a picture. His first ultrasound. "Here." He hands it to his mom.

"It's..." he wipes his runny nose with the back if his hand. "It's my... my... baby."  
He bites his lower lips and his eyes water. He still cant really believe it.  
Anne looks up and wipes her own soaked cheeks and eyes. "Your... your baby ?" She stands up and wraps her arms around him. Harry nods and returns the embrace. Then Gemma joins them, sniffing too.

After a while, Anne let's go and stands up. "You gotta eat then. you have to feed another person now..." Harry giggles, face and nose wet of tears. Gemma pats his back.

"But before" Anne continues "can I see it ?" At the confused look in Harry's eyes she adds with a smile" your baby bump".

Harry smiles wet and lifts his shirts enough to show his tummy. Anne runs her fingers on his skin. "It's barely here" she whispers.

"It's going to get bigger. " Harry says. "But it's dangerous. We only have a trace of it happening once, ever. And neither did the baby or the father survive..." at Anne's sudden worried look, Gemma adds quickly "but it was in the Romanian antiquity. The doctor said that at this time women died frequently. now Harry has almost as many chances as me to have a totally normal pregnancy... If I was pregnant, which i'm not" she adds.

But Anne smiles "you know i would be too shocked by your brother having a baby right now, so if you have anything else to say, it's the time."

"MUM ! I'm not I swear, and who would even be the father ?"

Anne answers with a wink to Harry "well my little finger told me that you and a certain Aussie boy..."

"Mum I told you it's too complicated, Ashton and I... it's complicated. With the distance and all that..." then she turns to Harry with an unconvinced glare "and I told you to stop looking through my texts !" Harry only sticks his tongue out.

Suddenly, Anne becomes serious. "Speaking of boyfriend... Harry ? Have you told Louis ?"  
The boy looks down at his hands. "M'gonna tell him when he'll get here..."  
Gemma squeezes his hand.

 

 

 

That night, Harry doesn't sleep well. He wakes up several times and has to stop himself from calling Louis and tell him everything. But he knows that if he does that, he'll regret it. It's something that has to be said in person.

Although it's the first time Harry has to keep a secret from his boyfriend, and he's definitely not living it well.

The next day, Louis calls him on skype and Harry has to end the conversation early to not spit it all out. He pretends he has to go shopping with Gemma. It's not true and he knows he's a terrible liar. He can also see in Louis's eyes that the boy can tell he's lying.  
But Harry can't say it, not now, not like that, on a screen that freeze way too often, through a microphone.  
So before going to sleep, he texts Louis "I miss you so much Lou, please come the earlier possible"  
And then "I gotta talk to you about something."  
He finally adds "I love you Lou xxxxx".

 

He wakes up in the middle of the night and sees two texts from Louis, sent an hour after his. "I hate being away from you, I love you haz"  
And the second one is from another hour later. "Tomorrow xxxxxxxx"

Harry goes back to sleep, his cellphone against his chest.

The next day, the morning sickness is back. Harry is not worried, the doctor said it meant the baby is healthy but it's painful and he stays in bed until noon.  
"You make daddy's belly hurt, you know ?" He says to the little baby inside him. "Bad Pea" he adds, with a little tap on his tummy.

He's been calling it Pea because he still doesn't really believe he has a baby inside him. He also doesn't know if it's a girl or a boy. And he doesn't want to know.  
Until he tells Louis about it, it's only a light grey pea shape on a picture.

Because he's not sure yet if he can do all of _that_ if Louis is not by his sides.

Louis arrives in Holmes Chapel around four in the afternoon.  
Harry hears the car parking before everyone. He feels like a kid on Christmas morning.  
He runs downstairs and just before opening the door he whispers to Pea "you're meeting dad..." but he realises that maybe Louis wont want to be father. He feels the need the add with a caress on his bump "Never mind, you'll always have one daddy." He doesn't see it but behind him, Anne smiles fondly.

He greats Louis with a shy hug but the older boy quickly pulls him into a kiss.

"I missed you so much." Louis breathes in Harry's hair.

"Me too." Harry feels overwhelmed. He loves Louis so much he could cry. He wants to shout it to the world.  
He's been crying a lot lately. Hormones, the doctor said.

Harry pulls out. "C'mon you must be tired." He tries to take Louis's bag but the older boy shakes his head and hold on tight on the bag.  
Harry sighs and opens the house's door.  
Anne hugs Louis tightly and give Harry a smile behind his shoulder.  
Gemma is catching up with old friends in town so she's not home. Louis is disappointed, he likes her a lot.

When they're in Harry's room, there's an awkward tension. Harry's sitting on the bed, hands on his tummy, unconsciously hiding it.  
He keeps repeating in his head like a mantra _don't worry Pea it's gonna be fine_ but it's himself he trying to reassure.

He knows Louis loves him but he has no idea how Louis would react at the announce of a _baby_. There's no way he would ever thought about such a situation.  
Louis sits down facing him, legs crossed.

They look like two kids.

They look like they were three years ago, when they met and were shy and inexperienced. None of them knew what to do with the feeling the other made appear in them.

"Are you ok Haz ?" Asks Louis, worryingly.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. "

Louis pecks his lips softly, a hand on his neck.  
Harry wants to kiss him but he can't, he has to say it. It's burning his inside since Louis has arrived.  
He pulls away. "Lou, i need to talk to you about something."  
Louis, like Anne before, frowns.

"It's going to sound crazy and baby please don't freak out. I know you never ever thought we would be in a situation like that and... i never thought either."  
Louis frowns harder. "You're scaring me." He says.

"I ...no it's not something bad. It's something wonderful even. "

"Come on Harry what is happening ?"

Harry looks away.  
"I.. impregnant." He mumble.

"You what ?" Says Louis confused.

"I have.. a.... a... a baby growing in me."

When he looks back at Louis, the boy is pouting. "Fuck Harry. You scared me ! Why are you doing this to me ? It's not funny."

Oh no. _He doesn't believe me_ thinks Harry. It's actually the worst case. OK maybe not but it wont be easy.

But how could he believe such a thing ? A man is not supposed to me pregnant. This doesn't happen. Except it did. Pea is here and will grow up and become a baby and then a kid and... Harry needs Louis for that.  
Again tears are coming to his eyes. "I'm not joking Louis" he says. Louis eyes widen a little.

"and I thought you were a bad liar."

"I'm not lying !" Harry shouts. He's proper crying now. Why doesn't he believe him ??  
Louis leaves the bed and walks to the window.

"I'm not lying." Says Harry softly. "He wipes his nose. "I'm carrying a freaking baby."

He doesn't look at Louis but he hears him sitting down on the floor.

"Your baby." Harry whispers.

"How is it possible ?" Asks Louis almost inaudibly.

Harry stands up and walks to Louis. He sits next to him, chin resting on his knees.  
"I don't know. It happens. Apparently."

"It just happens ?"

"Yes."

Louis slips against the wall and rests his head on Harry's shoulder.

they stay silent for a while but Harry'sheart is progressively slowing down. Louis doesn't seem like he's taking it too bad.

"Do you want to ... meet it ?"

Louis nervously giggles.

"Yeah, why not?"

Harry straightens and pulls up his shirt. He turns to face Louis. He looks him in the eyes and says softly. "Louis, meet Pea. "  
Louis smiles. " _Pea_ ?"

Harry shrugs and sticks his tongue out.

"Nice to meet you pea." Whispers Louis, slightly running his fingers on Harry's tummy.  
Louis bents down and kisses Harry's soft skin. Then he straightens and kisses Harry's lips.

When he breaks the kiss, Harry asks "are you ok ?"

"It's a lot to take, but... are you really ...?"

"I'm keeping it Lou. It's alive. It's healthy and... it's mine. It's maybe the only chance I have to ever have my own. And... It can be yours too..."

Louis strokes Harry's skin. He looks up and asks "Are you sure it's mine ?"  
Harry nods.

"Then, if you're ready, I'm ready." He looks back to the little bump.

"Hi pea, let me introduce myself again. I'm your daddy."

Harry thinks his heart is going to explode. He pulls Louis in too a hug and whispers in the boy's soft hair. "Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou" and he feels like he will never say it enough.  
 _You're lucky, Pea_ he thinks, but really it's to himself he says that.

They celebrate Harry's 20th birthday with Gemma Anne and Robin, Harry's step dad. Anne has explained to him the _Pea situation_ as they call it now. They also decide to set this as a date to celebrate pea's eleven weeks birthday.

Harry cries a lot, from happiness and laughter mostly, but also when he struggles with changing bed sheets.  
Louis finds him tangled in the white fabric, sobbing on the floor. He frees him and makes him sit on the couch with a cup of tea while he finishes the task. Harry feels embarrassed and he hates hormones.  
However, he starts to like them when at night he realises it gets him horny and he and Louis have amazing sex.  
He feels like they're an old couple who discovers the passion of the first years. The truth is that Harry's just more sensitive and every feeling is multiplied by ten at least.  
Of course Louis loves it.

Harry is in his 13th week when the rehearsals for the new tour starts. His state is still very discreet for who doesn't know it. The doctor says Pea's healthy though and the lack of visible enlargement of the stomach is probably due to the metabolism of the male body doing some kind of a denial pregnancy.

It's the first time the five boys are reunited since new years eve and if they notice something, nobody says a word.  
Harry and Louis have discussed it, they'll tell them in a few days, when Harry feels ready. It's a whole new step in the acceptation of his pregnancy. Suddenly it's more than just personal, it becomes public and Harry's not sure he wants that already.

Harry keeps wearing large shirts and sweaters and nobody is surprised when Louis slips a hand under it, holding him from behind, arms wrapped around his chest, and caresses his tummy. It's not abnormal for them to be touchy.

One day, Harry lifts his shirt to wipe his sweaty forehead and he crosses Niall's confused look. The boy has notices his rounder tummy.  
Harry flushes and smiles and after that Niall seems to have forgotten.

The next day, they're in the middle of a song when Harry trips and falls.  
It's Louis' part but the boy stops right away and runs to Harry who's still laughing with the other boys.  
"Harry babe, are you ok ?" He asks, worried.  
Harry giggles "I'm fine Louis, i fell on my bum."

"You should rest a little." Says Louis, brows furrowed. And then louder : "Can we have a break ?" without waiting for an answer, he leads Harry to a couch.

"You stay here OK ? I'm gonna get you water."

"Harry sighs but lays on the couch and gets comfortable. It's true he's kinda tired.

"Are you OK ?" Asks Liam, followed by Niall and Zayn. Harry nods.

Louis comes back with a bottle of evian. He glares at the boys and particularly at Niall who's sitting on Harry's lap, half laying on his chest.  
"Get up mate" he tells him.

Niall raises his eyebrows but stands up. Louis can be scary sometimes.

"What's wrong with him ?" Zayn asks Harry with a grin, pointing at Louis.

Harry gives Louis a look, asking him a silent question, that's what they do. Louis thinks for a moment but gives up and smiles and shrugs before sitting next to Harry.  
Harry straightens and folds his legs under him. He takes a deep breath and says, with a fond look to Louis.

"He's worried..." he looks up to Zayn and sets a hand on his tummy. "It's normal you know, for a future dad." Louis blushes.

Harry wants to laugh at the confused look on the other boys’ faces.  
Then, Niall's eyes light up and he kneels in front of Harry. Without a look for his face he says straight to his stomach. "Hello there, it's uncle Niall, poor baby, your daddies are dumb." Then he looks up to Harry who says "Pea, that's its name." Then Harry lifts his shirt like he already did for his mum and Louis and robin. "Pea is 14 weeks old next Sunday"

The next week, Louis and Harry, have a meeting with their management. For three hours they discuss the terms of their contract. Louis obtains to break up with Eleanor and to have one press meeting with the journalist of his choice to explain it.

Harry has to assure the tour until his state doesn't permit it anymore.

Then the other three boys join them and they all agree to sign for three other albums if they get to lighten and shorten the Where We Are tour for Harry's sake.  
Harry feels overwhelmed by so much love and guilty that it's his fault the boys are stuck for another six years.  
It's decided that the WWA tour will last until Harry can't perform anymore and will start again in 2015 in the country they couldn't perform in during 2014.  
It's a tough price but there's no other solution.

Harry cries a lot during this period, he feels like it's his fault. He feels guilty for holding the band back, he feels guilty for the fans who have paid for their show they won't be able to perform.  
Harry tried to convince the boys to keep touring without him but they were clear : it's the five of them fans want. It's not fair for anyone if Harry stays in the UK while they're touring. It's not fair for Louis who has to stay away from his baby (his babies Zayn adds under Liam's reprobating look), it's not fair for the boys who have to assure the shows without Harry, it's not fair for the fans who paid for a whole band and it's not fair for Pea who'll have to grow up without one of it's parent, and with the other one feeling lonely and guilty. 

Liam also assures him that fans will understand. As soon as they'll know, they'll support him and Louis.  
Liam seems so sure of what he says Harry has to believe him. It's going to be difficult he knows it but a look in Louis's eyes reminds him that Pea's worth it.

They keep calling the baby Pea. Neither Harry of Louis wants to know if it's a girl or a boy. Louis gets very angry when he catches Zayn and Niall making bets about it. Niall wants Pea to be a boy so he can brings him to play with Theo.  
Zayn wants Pea to be a girl so Niall has fewer reasons to take care of her because he says Niall can't be trusted with babies. But it's mostly to annoy Niall.

The _"pea situation"_ becomes really obvious around the 18th week and Harry can't avoid it anymore. He's been staying out of the papers for a the whole time of the rehearsals. Unfortunately the tour starts in two weeks and he cannot hide his belly anymore.  
Louis and Harry decide to hang out publicly together for the first time. They have a discreet dinner in a nice restaurant in London and go back home in one of Harry's car.  
Of course, one the next day, the press is on ebullition. A paparazzi has taken a lot of pictures of the two of them holding hand. They're dark and blurry and Harry's belly is barely visible.  
They go out again, during the day this time and the pictures are high quality. Harry's belly is obvious. The world is shocked.

Management is horrified and delighted at the same time.  
It creates more publicity than they ever imagined. They ask the two boys to go out a last time before the tour but when Harry gets mobbed and falls Louis refuses any other public appearance without a bunch of body guards.

When they leave for South America, Harry is five months pregnant. If he dances and has fun during the first part of the show, he has to sit for most of the second part. The boys serenade him and the fans scream. Sometimes Louis sits next to him and sings, a hand on Harry's tummy. The fans scream even louder.

Niall does his best to place "Pea" as much as he can during the songs.

" _I said can I take Pea home with me_ " he sings with a smile " _Louis said never in you're wildest dreams_ " he continues with a shrug and everyone in the whole stadium is laughing. Even Louis. Niall is really proud of it. 

  
When any of the boys sings "baby" they all run to Harry and rub his stomach. Sometimes they carry him around the stage and Harry's jaw hurts from laughing.  
During his solo in Strong, Louis makes an habit of kissing Harry's hair. One day, his hand is on Harry's belly and he stops suddenly in the middle of a sentence. Only Harry knows what happened. Pea kicked.  
Niall takes over Louis's solo and out of nowhere, Louis kisses Harry.

They never kissed publicly before. The crowd explodes and Harry can't contain his smile for the rest of the night.  
After that, the kiss in Harry's hair is replaced by a chaste peck on his lips, but each times the girls in the public grow wild.  
Harry feels like he's never been happier. For the first time, he's free to show his love for Louis in front of the world's eyes. On top of that he gets to perform all around the world and have the time of his life.

He is quickly exhausted though and they have to cancel several shows.

They're about to start the European Tour when Louis decides Harry has to rest. The curly haired boy fights but he knows his boyfriend is right. Harry is six and half months pregnant. His belly isn't made to carry a baby and it's starting to hurt. Moreover Pea has taken the habit if kicking him inside and each time is more painful as it cuts Harry's breathing.  
The five of them make a public announcement and Harry apologizes profoundly.Every ticket is repaid and they promise they'll come back next year. Most of the fans are surprisingly comprehensive and most of the messages Harry gets on twitter are early congratulations and encouragements. He tries to not look at the rest of them.

When they're back in the UK , Louis makes Harry stay in bed as much as possible. They cuddle a lot and watch tons of movies so Harry doesn't get bored. The other boys visit them very often and Harry decides his baby will have three godfathers. Gemma and Lottie will be the two godmothers.  
When Harry has his first contractions, it's way too early. He's only in the middle of his seventh month. He moves in the hospital where Louis doesn't allow any doctors and medical students to come and study his pregnant boyfriend. Harry says it's normal, it never happened before and he's probably unique, but he's relieved. Although, he knows his test results and ultrasounds are studied in very high laboratory. Hey that's just another part of him that's not private anymore, but what can you do.

With the help of many painkillers and lots of sleep, Harry  manages to keep Pea inside him for two other weeks.

He has started his eighth month when the pain becomes unbearable.  
During the several hours that lasts the surgery, Louis bites his nails and hits in walls a lot. Even Niall isn't able to keep him still.

Finally, on the 28th of June, Harry takes for the first time in his arms his own little girl.

They decide to call her Hope, because that's what she is, right ?

Although they decide to keep Pea as it's how the entire world knows her now.

She's so tiny Louis is afraid she gets lost in Harry's big arms. Harry give her to him because he knows it's only an excuse because he doesn't know how to ask for his daughter.  
When Harry says he's tired and Pea yawns with her tiny little mouth, Louis lays next to Harry on the bed. "She's beautiful" He says, softly caressing her tiny nose.

"She looks like you." responds Harry with a sleepy voice.

"She looks more like you." Louis answers and Harry sighs.

It's true though. She looks like both of them. Harry can’t believe it. And looking at Louis' amazed look, he still doesn't really believe it either.

How could they ?

Hope squeezes Harry's finger in her tiny hand. His daughter. Their daughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god I'm sorry if it's really bad but I just loved writing about Harry being pregnant. Not enough stories about it out there.  
> Thank you for reading until the end ! :D
> 
> come say Hi my tumblr is http://dimplesonfire.tumblr.com/


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